When you're at a relationship crossroads...do you leave or stay?

Dr Eve discusses what happens when couples realise they have differing needs, and have to decide if they can accommodate those within the relationship or not.

She says she has counselled couples in marriages and relationships that feel the relationship is 'just too good to leave but too bad to stay'.

These kind of relationships often have many positive aspects, but there are areas in which one partner is not feeling fulfilled.

These individuals find themselves in a dilemma. It feels like they are living in limbo, and individuals feel they are living an unlived life where they are not being true to themselves. They don't know how to move forward, because of the commitments they made to their partner in the beginning of the relationship.

Dr Eve says these days, with more technology available, people in these situations feel they have more choice to explore other options. She says in pre-technology days people tended to sit it out because of children or fear of being on their own.

According to Dr Eve, about 69 percent of relationship conflicts are caused by perpetual problems - fundamental differences in personality or lifestyle like sexual preferences and one partner's desire to explore new sexual experiences.

Dr Eve says gridlocked problems, are those perpetual problems that never get solved and "are seen as the pink elephant that seats in the room and nobody wants to talk about"

We talking about a particular lifestyle, feeling like you are not living the kind of life you want and there's something better waiting for you

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Dr Eve gave a list of feelings that will help in knowing if you are happy to stay or leave in a current relationship.

• I’m pretending to be happy and fulfilled in my relationship

• I fantasize about being “independent” and single

• People would be surprised that we were splitting up

• I can no longer suppress my fetish – for example BDSM, foot fetish, transvestite

• I want to be with same sex people emotionally or/and sexually

• I want to open up my relationship- swinging , threesomes, polyamory

• I want a sexless relationship with my partner but want to stay married/committed

• I can no longer tolerate a sexless/sexually unsatisfying relationship

• I only want a co-parenting relationship with my partner

• Living apart together relationship- different cities, countries or houses or bedrooms

• Do you stay in familiarity and attachment or leave to tick your boxes?

Its not easy to end or terminate a relationship and that's why you stay. But people are staying and feeling 'I'm just too uncomfortable' and then it leads to what we call a vulnerability factor to acting out, and acting out could be cheating ... its a way of saying I am not living the life I want to be living in this relationship.

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Listen to the full conversation below:

Read More
IDC on the hunt for disruptive industries to invest in

IDC on the hunt for disruptive industries to invest in

The IDC is looking to fund and support disruptive industries with the potential to shake up the business space.

HM Media helps ad campaigns make the right impression

HM Media helps ad campaigns make the right impression

HM Media offers a complete ad experience to clients, ranging from conceptualisation, design, layout, media buying and placements.

"We can't grow our economy when our working population is unemployed"

"We can't grow our economy when our working population is unemployed"

Economic strategist, Thabi Leoka gives insights into the struggling South African economy.

Listeners: Dlamini-Zuma should have addressed Marikana issue long ago

Listeners: Dlamini-Zuma should have addressed Marikana issue long ago

CapeTalk/702's listeners weigh in on Dlamini-Zuma being chased out of Marikana on Tuesday.

Drug-testing may help tackle school violence, says Gauteng education

Drug-testing may help tackle school violence, says Gauteng education

The department's Steve Mabona says drug-testing from Grade 8 may help curb the prevalent problem of substance abuse among pupils.

60% of children in SA under 10 don’t live with their biological fathers - study

60% of children in SA under 10 don’t live with their biological fathers - study

Kabelo Chabalala Founder of the Young Men Movement (YMM) spoke with Gugu Mhlungu about the rates of fatherhood in South Africa.

Popular articles
NSRI has freed False Bay whale entangled in ropes

NSRI has freed False Bay whale entangled in ropes

NSRI has manged to free a southern right whale entangled in ropes in Fish Hoek, False Bay.

Local desalination company says no to small-scale tender

Local desalination company says no to small-scale tender

Tom Callaghan at Grahamtek says desalination tender is not viable for business but will bid for the large-scale land based plant.

Snakes on a plein: Drought to push snakes closer to properties

Snakes on a plein: Drought to push snakes closer to properties

Snake catcher Shaun McCleod says about 99% of snakes in the WC are just looking for food.

Vodacom to reimburse customers by end of the morning

Vodacom to reimburse customers by end of the morning

Spokesperson Byron Kennedy says the problem was a configuration change on their billing system.

5 reasons why South Africa granted Grace Mugabe diplomatic immunity

5 reasons why South Africa granted Grace Mugabe diplomatic immunity

 Simon Allison, Africa Editor at the Mail & Guardian explains the political considerations behind Mugabe's diplomatic immunity.

"ANN7 and  New Age sale is effectively a transaction between  Manyi and Guptas"

"ANN7 and New Age sale is effectively a transaction between Manyi and Guptas"

Phillip de Wet, Associate Editor at Mail & Guardian breaks down the sale of Gupta owned ANN7 TV Station and The New Age paper.

This is incredibly embarrassing for both countries - SAIIA Head of Governance

This is incredibly embarrassing for both countries - SAIIA Head of Governance

On Saturday international relations minister Maite Nkoane-Mashabane granted diplomatic immunity to Grace Mugabe.

Meet Bonang Mohale, BLSA's outspoken (‘don’t blame colonialism’) Chairperson

Meet Bonang Mohale, BLSA's outspoken (‘don’t blame colonialism’) Chairperson

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews Business Leadership South Africa’s Mohale for his weekly “ShapeShifter” feature.