How to signal consent in the bedroom

Dr Eve, Clinical Sexologist, looked into the concept of 'enthusiastic consent', what it means and how it works.

She says the campaign has shifted academically, in that we no longer speak about "no means no" because it has proven to be ineffective.

A new campaign, 'enthusiastic consent' requires open communication and advocates for active positive agreement to sexual activity.

It means we need to be giving enthusiastic agreements to sexual activities rather than passive agreement. Consent needs to be given to each piece of sexual activity, meaning that yes to vaginal penetration does not mean yes to anal penetration

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Basically what it means is YES I want this and NO I don't want to do that

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

However, Dr eve says during a workshop she held few weeks ago, the participants thought it would be very unromantic to seek consent for every single sexual activity. Men thought it would take away from their masculinity if they have to get consent every step of the way, while women thought it will make them look silly.

She says that consent should be taught at a younger age, and children need to learn that their words are taken seriously and clear boundaries are set.

As part of sexuality education, the call is now on how to be be able to say we've got to include the story of consent in all our comprehensive sexuality education in our schools...

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Being silent is not a way to respond ever, and if you are with a woman who is passive and silent, do not take that as consent. Check in with her, say to her "I hear your silence please tell me what your silence means?"

Dr Eve, clinical sexologist

Listen to the full conversation below:


This article first appeared on 702 : How to signal consent in the bedroom


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