Business Blunders

Facebook rejects Lance Browneye. Parmalat recalls denatured, re-watered PureJoy

Also read the following related article:

- “Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

Native Americans struggling to get on Facebook with real names

“I’m not on Facebook but I own some shares because every time I look for my wife I realise she’s on Facebook,” says an on-thin-ice Paul Theron (Vestact MD).

Did you know you’re supposed to use your real name on Facebook? And can you imagine the problem this causes for Native Americans?

“It all started when Shane Creepingbear was barred from Facebook,” says Theron. “Then the social network chose to deal with Lance Browneye from the Lakota tribe by changing his name to Lance Brown. Facebook only relented when he threatened them with legal action. His brown eye is now restored to all its former glory.”

Parmalat recalls its denatured, re-watered apple juice

Parmalat recalled stocks of its PureJoy apple juice in the Western Cape this past week after caustic soda were found in it.

“These things happen from time to time,” says Theron. “Lead poisoned the Romans and melamine was found in Chinese baby formula in 2008; I’m sure they’ll bounce back. Soon there’ll once again be 100 percent pure joy in their denatured, re-watered apple juice.”

Perfect for the job?

Did you know that, before Yanis Varoufakis became the Greek Finance Minister, he worked for a videogame company called “Valve”? His job was managing the “in game” purchases.

“This important job is held by a guy who used to deal with kids using their parents’ credit cards to buy upgrades for their virtual avatars,” says Theron.

“It’s perfect training for the job; the more I think about it!”

South Africa won’t glow in the dark by 2023 as promised

“This R1-trillion nuclear power program will never happen!” predicts Theron with unwavering certainty. “What, are we gonna get the money from the Russians? Their economy is busy melting down into a vodka soaked puddle right now!

“And Eskom’s balance sheet, please! Who is going to buy those bonds?”

Theron expects far more private power generation in future, especially gas, wind and solar. He mentions Apple’s US$850-million investment to power their headquarters with solar energy as a lead we should follow.

These jokes don't always translate well into text. Listen to the audio for the real deal:

Also read the following related article:

- “Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

CapeTalk welcomes all comments that are constructive, contribute to discussions in a meaningful manner and take stories forward.

However, we will NOT condone the following:

  • Racism (including offensive comments based on ethnicity and nationality)
  • Sexism
  • Homophobia
  • Religious intolerance
  • Cyber bullying
  • Hate speech
  • Derogatory language
  • Comments inciting violence.

We ask that your comments remain relevant to the articles they appear on and do not include general banter or conversation as this dilutes the effectiveness of the comments section.

We strive to make the CapeTalk community a safe and welcoming space for all.

CapeTalk reserves the right to: 1) remove any comments that do not follow the above guidelines; and, 2) ban users who repeatedly infringe the rules.

Should you find any comments upsetting or offensive you can also flag them and we will assess it against our guidelines.

CapeTalk is constantly reviewing its comments policy in order to create an environment conducive to constructive conversations.

Read More
Trump vs Jong-un; it’s complete ‘bulls**t’ – Paul Theron (Vestact)

Trump vs Jong-un; it’s complete ‘bulls**t’ – Paul Theron (Vestact)

They’re two “w**kers” looking for attention says Paul Theron, the straight-talking MD of Vestact.

Virgin’s “foam-pas”, golden poop, cheating Qataris; the week’s business blunders

Virgin’s “foam-pas”, golden poop, cheating Qataris; the week’s business blunders

Qatar, trying cheat its way to a world record, forced flip-flop wearing labourers to take part in a marathon. This and more...

McD wants you to have super sized dreams (& rappers "stamp" their authority!)

McD wants you to have super sized dreams (& rappers "stamp" their authority!)

Mike Wills standing-in for Bruce Whitfield spoke to Vestact MD Paul Theron about this week's business blunders.

BBC puts brakes on Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson (and other business blunders)

BBC puts brakes on Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson (and other business blunders)

Paul Theron looks at some of the week's business blunders from across the world.

Fanta celebrates the good old days of Nazi Germany (and other business blunders)

Fanta celebrates the good old days of Nazi Germany (and other business blunders)

You can’t buy love, says the Fed, but you can buy something so close you can’t tell the difference (and other business blunders).

“Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

“Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

Curro’s classroom apartheid, a typo causing bankruptcy, a Gauteng running club scam and a Brazilian parastatal worse than Eskom.

Popular articles
[LISTEN] Makhosi Khoza spills the beans on why she quit the ANC

[LISTEN] Makhosi Khoza spills the beans on why she quit the ANC

She says President Zuma was uncomfortable with her and her decisions which saw changes to the ANC and Motsoeneng ousted.

[Watch] Payday dance: Never a dull moment in Cape Town

[Watch] Payday dance: Never a dull moment in Cape Town

Even slow-moving traffic cannot dampen the mood in Cape Town because payday came early. Watch Capetonians celebrating payday.

KPMG International's meeting with Pravin Gordhan

KPMG International's meeting with Pravin Gordhan

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews Pauli van Wyk, a journalist with Scorpio at Daily Maverick.

Free entrance to SanParks for all South Africans

Free entrance to SanParks for all South Africans

SanParks is running a week-long campaign that affords South African residents free access to almost all 21 national parks.

Ocean View activist speaks: We have had 20 murders in 2017 alone

Ocean View activist speaks: We have had 20 murders in 2017 alone

Sharone Daniels, a community activist in Cape Town's Ocean View says they need police intervention to end gang violence.

[WATCH] Day-Zero for water running out fast approaching?

[WATCH] Day-Zero for water running out fast approaching?

A government employee emailed John Maytham about what he or she believes is the real state of play with the Cape water crisis.

3 emergency numbers you should have on speed dial and how they work

3 emergency numbers you should have on speed dial and how they work

These are the emergency numbers you should have on your cellphone and this is what you must understand about how they work.