Business Blunders

Facebook rejects Lance Browneye. Parmalat recalls denatured, re-watered PureJoy

Also read the following related article:

- “Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

Native Americans struggling to get on Facebook with real names

“I’m not on Facebook but I own some shares because every time I look for my wife I realise she’s on Facebook,” says an on-thin-ice Paul Theron (Vestact MD).

Did you know you’re supposed to use your real name on Facebook? And can you imagine the problem this causes for Native Americans?

“It all started when Shane Creepingbear was barred from Facebook,” says Theron. “Then the social network chose to deal with Lance Browneye from the Lakota tribe by changing his name to Lance Brown. Facebook only relented when he threatened them with legal action. His brown eye is now restored to all its former glory.”

Parmalat recalls its denatured, re-watered apple juice

Parmalat recalled stocks of its PureJoy apple juice in the Western Cape this past week after caustic soda were found in it.

“These things happen from time to time,” says Theron. “Lead poisoned the Romans and melamine was found in Chinese baby formula in 2008; I’m sure they’ll bounce back. Soon there’ll once again be 100 percent pure joy in their denatured, re-watered apple juice.”

Perfect for the job?

Did you know that, before Yanis Varoufakis became the Greek Finance Minister, he worked for a videogame company called “Valve”? His job was managing the “in game” purchases.

“This important job is held by a guy who used to deal with kids using their parents’ credit cards to buy upgrades for their virtual avatars,” says Theron.

“It’s perfect training for the job; the more I think about it!”

South Africa won’t glow in the dark by 2023 as promised

“This R1-trillion nuclear power program will never happen!” predicts Theron with unwavering certainty. “What, are we gonna get the money from the Russians? Their economy is busy melting down into a vodka soaked puddle right now!

“And Eskom’s balance sheet, please! Who is going to buy those bonds?”

Theron expects far more private power generation in future, especially gas, wind and solar. He mentions Apple’s US$850-million investment to power their headquarters with solar energy as a lead we should follow.

These jokes don't always translate well into text. Listen to the audio for the real deal:

Also read the following related article:

- “Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”


This article first appeared on 702 : Facebook rejects Lance Browneye. Parmalat recalls denatured, re-watered PureJoy


Recommended

by NEWSROOM AI

CapeTalk welcomes all comments that are constructive, contribute to discussions in a meaningful manner and take stories forward.

However, we will NOT condone the following:

  • Racism (including offensive comments based on ethnicity and nationality)
  • Sexism
  • Homophobia
  • Religious intolerance
  • Cyber bullying
  • Hate speech
  • Derogatory language
  • Comments inciting violence.

We ask that your comments remain relevant to the articles they appear on and do not include general banter or conversation as this dilutes the effectiveness of the comments section.

We strive to make the CapeTalk community a safe and welcoming space for all.

CapeTalk reserves the right to: 1) remove any comments that do not follow the above guidelines; and, 2) ban users who repeatedly infringe the rules.

Should you find any comments upsetting or offensive you can also flag them and we will assess it against our guidelines.

CapeTalk is constantly reviewing its comments policy in order to create an environment conducive to constructive conversations.

Read More
Trump vs Jong-un; it’s complete ‘bulls**t’ – Paul Theron (Vestact)

Trump vs Jong-un; it’s complete ‘bulls**t’ – Paul Theron (Vestact)

They’re two “w**kers” looking for attention says Paul Theron, the straight-talking MD of Vestact.

Virgin’s “foam-pas”, golden poop, cheating Qataris; the week’s business blunders

Virgin’s “foam-pas”, golden poop, cheating Qataris; the week’s business blunders

Qatar, trying cheat its way to a world record, forced flip-flop wearing labourers to take part in a marathon. This and more...

McD wants you to have super sized dreams (& rappers "stamp" their authority!)

McD wants you to have super sized dreams (& rappers "stamp" their authority!)

Mike Wills standing-in for Bruce Whitfield spoke to Vestact MD Paul Theron about this week's business blunders.

BBC puts brakes on Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson (and other business blunders)

BBC puts brakes on Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson (and other business blunders)

Paul Theron looks at some of the week's business blunders from across the world.

Fanta celebrates the good old days of Nazi Germany (and other business blunders)

Fanta celebrates the good old days of Nazi Germany (and other business blunders)

You can’t buy love, says the Fed, but you can buy something so close you can’t tell the difference (and other business blunders).

“Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

“Curro’s teachers are good at math, especially division.”

Curro’s classroom apartheid, a typo causing bankruptcy, a Gauteng running club scam and a Brazilian parastatal worse than Eskom.

Popular articles
Nhlanhla Nene asks trade unions for ideas on how to fund wage increase demands

Nhlanhla Nene asks trade unions for ideas on how to fund wage increase demands

Nene asked unions representing Eskom workers to provide ideas to fund wage increases after negotiations with Eskom deadlocked.

[WATCH] Man finds it hard to open his Zam-Buk & pleads for an easier opening tin

[WATCH] Man finds it hard to open his Zam-Buk & pleads for an easier opening tin

Tourists wake up at the crack of dawn to bag the best sunbed and one man even suffers a broken toe in the melee.

How Steinhoff shares doubled in just five days

How Steinhoff shares doubled in just five days

Founder of Herenya Capital Advisors, Petri Redelinghuys, explains how the embattled Steinhoff managed to double its share price in 5 days

Parents no longer have to travel with children's birth certificates

Parents no longer have to travel with children's birth certificates

The new Home Affairs upgrades to the system include printing parents details at the back of the child's passport.

Woolworths explains reasons for rice mix recall

Woolworths explains reasons for rice mix recall

The retailer announced it is recalling its rice mix product for fear of contamination with the Listeria bacteria.

Home Affairs set to undergo an upgrade in move to paperless system

Home Affairs set to undergo an upgrade in move to paperless system

A new live capture system will cover birth, marriage and death registrations.

Criminals targeting homes with aluminium windows, warns neighborhood watch

Criminals targeting homes with aluminium windows, warns neighborhood watch

The Panorama, Welgelegen and Plattekloof Neighbourhood Watch has identified a new house break-in trend.