50 Shades misrepresents BDSM lifestyle, says sex columnist

BDSM (bondage, discipline and sadomasochism) is a lifestyle that has burst into the mainstream thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, a book (and now also a blockbuster movie) that many people feel is glamorising an abusive relationship and promoting violence against women.

Many members of the BDSM community are voicing outrage at what they claim is a gross misrepresentation of what their way of life is about.

We asked sex columnist Dorothy Black, a regular on the women24.com, to demystify BDSM. She talks about what a consensual, healthy BDSM relationship actually looks like and questions whether the lifestyle portrayed in 50 Shades is actually an accurate reflection.

Listen to the audio for Black’s answers to these questions:

  • What did you think of 50 Shades of Grey? [1:35]

  • Why do you think it has taken off so wildly? [2:07]

  • Many people have argued that it is portraying an abusive relationship – do you agree? Is it an accurate representation of the BDSM lifestyle? [3:01]

  • Can you talk us through what the term BDSM actually means? What does a good BDSM relationship entail? [4:22]

  • Does it necessarily include sex? [5:56]

  • Why would anyone willingly seek to be humiliated? What is the psychology behind such a relationship? [6:40]

  • Some of our listeners might feel that such behaviour has no part in what they would consider a “normal” or “healthy” relationship. Do you agree? [7:48]

  • What about the argument that this is taking feminism 50 steps back – putting women back under the heel of men? Is it really about free will and choice? [9.08]

  • You regularly receive letters from your readers; what are they saying to you about the BDSM lifestyle? Is there a lot of curiosity about it and are a lot of people telling you they practice it? [10:47]

  • Are there safe places to explore this lifestyle if you are curious? [12:28]

CapeTalk welcomes all comments that are constructive, contribute to discussions in a meaningful manner and take stories forward.

However, we will NOT condone the following:

  • Racism (including offensive comments based on ethnicity and nationality)
  • Sexism
  • Homophobia
  • Religious intolerance
  • Cyber bullying
  • Hate speech
  • Derogatory language
  • Comments inciting violence.

We ask that your comments remain relevant to the articles they appear on and do not include general banter or conversation as this dilutes the effectiveness of the comments section.

We strive to make the CapeTalk community a safe and welcoming space for all.

CapeTalk reserves the right to: 1) remove any comments that do not follow the above guidelines; and, 2) ban users who repeatedly infringe the rules.

Should you find any comments upsetting or offensive you can also flag them and we will assess it against our guidelines.

CapeTalk is constantly reviewing its comments policy in order to create an environment conducive to constructive conversations.

Read More
SA crew finishes second in Cape Town leg of round-the-world yacht race

SA crew finishes second in Cape Town leg of round-the-world yacht race

The Clipper Round the World Yacht Race lasts 11 months and sees over 700 crew members taking part from over 40 countries.

Dad left super proud after young violinist (14) wins gold on national stage

Dad left super proud after young violinist (14) wins gold on national stage

14-year-old Gilah Kellner has bright classical music career ahead of her and her father can't help but gush over her achievements.

Brittle bones? What you need to know about osteoporosis

Brittle bones? What you need to know about osteoporosis

Osteoporosis is a condition in which bones become thinner and more fragile, making them more prone to breaking.

UWC opens nine science centres at disadvantaged Cape schools

UWC opens nine science centres at disadvantaged Cape schools

Schools that will benefit from the programme are in areas such as Vredenburg, Nyanga, Mossel Bay and Albertinia, a prof explains.

Cape academies making coding accessible to kids and adults

Cape academies making coding accessible to kids and adults

Code Space Academy and Kids Who Code are two examples of local organisations that are bringing computer science to the masses.

Planning to send/receive Christmas gifts from overseas? You'll want to read this

Planning to send/receive Christmas gifts from overseas? You'll want to read this

Consumer journalist Wendy Knowler helps shed light on the rights of consumers when dealing with postal services for Xmas prezzies.

Popular articles
Estate agent Aida admits it’s the source of SA’s largest data hack ever

Estate agent Aida admits it’s the source of SA’s largest data hack ever

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews Stuff magazine’s Toby Shapshak.

UCT engineering student creates affordable grey water system

UCT engineering student creates affordable grey water system

Nkosinathi Nkomo came up with a system that could turn grey water into usable water amidst the Cape Town water crisis.

Meet Whitey Basson (the retail guru who turned Shoprite into a R127bn behemoth)

Meet Whitey Basson (the retail guru who turned Shoprite into a R127bn behemoth)

The Money Show’s Bruce Whitfield interviews the former CEO of Africa’s largest retailer by far.

CT airport shooting attempted hit on gang boss allegedly linked to '28s' -expert

CT airport shooting attempted hit on gang boss allegedly linked to '28s' -expert

A policing expert explains that the airport shooting may be linked to the shooting at a Stellenbosch nightclub this past weekend.

Almost 30 million SA ID numbers compromised after site hacked

Almost 30 million SA ID numbers compromised after site hacked

Independent Marketing Consultant in the Technology Space, Andrew Fraser says this looks like a leak and not a hack.

Cape Town International Airport shooting could be gang related - ACSA

Cape Town International Airport shooting could be gang related - ACSA

The incident happened in the early hours of Wednesday morning.