Why being lonely isn't the same as being alone

Being alone is often a choice, explains behavioural psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer.

Dr Schomer says that individuals choose to be with their own company, and physically distance themselves from people to think, reflect and get a sense of everything.

So many people in the world are lonely. That's a very big difference from choosing to be alone.

Dr Helgo Schomer, behavioural psychologist

Loneliness, on the other hand, describes a feeling of involuntary social isolation and being "cut off" from the world, he explains.

Loneliness is very different. It's a state in which you feel yourself being painfully isolated.

Dr Helgo Schomer, behavioural psychologist

Dr Schomer says some personality types have predispositions to loneliness.

He says loneliness is likely to increase for individuals with the following characteristics:

  • people with a cynical view of nature
  • people who demand too much too soon
  • people with general pessimism towards life
  • people with high internal self-criticism

Psychologist Khosi Jiyane called in to contribute, explaining that loneliness is not reliant on the physical presence of others.

Loneliness has got nothing or very little to do with another persons presence or absence.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Loneliness will visit all of us in life, at one stage or another.

Khosi Jiyane, Clinical psychologist

Dr Schomer also shared advice on how some people can overcome loneliness.

Take a listen to his expert advice:

Read More
Winter blues got you down? What you must know about Seasonal Affective Disorder

Winter blues got you down? What you must know about Seasonal Affective Disorder

Don't brush off that yearly feeling or a seasonal funk. Here's how to help keep your mood and motivation up throughout the year.

How to come to grips with the fear of death and dying

How to come to grips with the fear of death and dying

Death is the one certainty in life, yet many people struggle to embrace their own mortality. Dr Schomer gives enlightening advice.

How family meal time moulds our feelings and identity

How family meal time moulds our feelings and identity

Psychologist Khosi Jiyane had an evocative conversation about the intertwined link between food, childhood and family dynamics.

Why your child's imaginary friend is a beautiful gift

Why your child's imaginary friend is a beautiful gift

A good imagination helps develop your child's social and creative skills, explains behavioural psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer.

How family moulds your personal identity and values while growing up

How family moulds your personal identity and values while growing up

Kids are like sponges and their early years can shape how they navigate the world as adults, says psychologist Khosi Jiyane.

How to stay motivated in everyday life

How to stay motivated in everyday life

Behavioural psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer says motivation is the driving force which pushes people towards their goals.

Why moving homes can be a painful experience (and how to prepare yourself)

Why moving homes can be a painful experience (and how to prepare yourself)

Behavioural psychologist Dr Helgo Schomer talks about the loss and trauma experienced by relocating and how to manage the pain.

S*@%! Understanding the psychology of swearing

S*@%! Understanding the psychology of swearing

Behavioural psychologist Dr. Schomer explains why some people use profanities to express themselves.

Why laughter is good for mental health

Why laughter is good for mental health

A sense of humour is key to a balanced life and good mental health. Dr. Schomer talks about the liberating effect of laughter.

How to repair a broken friendship

How to repair a broken friendship

A break-up between friends can cause major chest pains. Dr Schomer talks about the taxing juncture in life when a friendship ends.

Caught in the web of lies? How to identify a compulsive liar

Caught in the web of lies? How to identify a compulsive liar

What is a pathological liar and how to deal with one - find out how compulsive lying affects family life and other relationships.

Why family traditions matter

Why family traditions matter

Whether it's breaking bread or celebrating through song and dance, family rituals and traditions can create a sense of belonging.

Advice on how to instill discipline in young children

Advice on how to instill discipline in young children

Clinical psychologist Khosi Jiyane explains that discipline as a practice is ever-evolving as social norms continue to change.

Popular articles
Mduduzi Manana resigns

Mduduzi Manana resigns

President Jacob Zuma has confirmed that he accepted Manana's resignation and thanked him for his contribution during his term in office.

Alopecia androgenetica is the most common form of pattern baldness - Hair doctor

Alopecia androgenetica is the most common form of pattern baldness - Hair doctor

Dr Kevin Alexandra of the Hair loss clinic explains why you may lose your hair and what treatment you can follow for hair loss.

Good sugar vs bad sugar

Good sugar vs bad sugar

David Katz also known as Mr. Active and Phemelo Motene discuss which sugar you should avoid and which sugar you should consume.

An expert guide on 'hotwifing' and 'cuckolding' in the bedroom

An expert guide on 'hotwifing' and 'cuckolding' in the bedroom

Clinical sexologist Dr Eve shares insights into sexual fetishes and how partners negotiate them in their bedroom and relationship.

Big supermarkets to be policed on food hygiene standards

Big supermarkets to be policed on food hygiene standards

JP Smith, Mayco member for Safety and Security, explains some of the measures in place to ensure food hygiene in big supermarkets.

[Watch] John Maytham shuts down victim shamer on air

[Watch] John Maytham shuts down victim shamer on air

A caller wanted to know what the alleged victim had done in order for Grace Mugabe to assault her.

WC Health Dept responds to Diphtheria outbreak

WC Health Dept responds to Diphtheria outbreak

Dr John Sonnenberg voiced his concern that communication in the Helderberg area following the outbreak could have happened sooner.

Cape officials to harvest 500 million litres of new water a day

Cape officials to harvest 500 million litres of new water a day

Mayor of Cape Town speaks to CapeTalk's Kieno Kammies about plans to provide more water amidst the ongoing drought.