We all want the end results of what we do to be perfect, a perfect marriage, a perfect work project, a perfect house etc. But do we ever stop and realise that our idea of perfection, meaning, no flaws, no issues, and no problems actually makes us imperfect.
According to Dr Schomer perfection is the rule of ‘should’, I should be self-reliant, I should be perfect, I should never fail etc. We all have it but everyone needs to know when to turn it off and let it go, says Dr Schomer.
Perfectionists have two fears that drive them to be perfect all the time:
- The fear that people won’t like you
- The fear of being embarrassed
Perfection depends on the tasks
There are certain tasks that leave room for mistakes like sweeping the streets or washing dishes. But a doctor or a pilot cannot make mistakes because they dealing with human lives and Dr Schomer say ‘find the balance’
External perfectionists and internal perfectionist
External perfectionist - constantly find faults in what others do, they hold very high standards and they are never satisfied unless they do it themselves.
Internal perfectionists - they have very excessive demanding expectations on themselves
Zandile in Midrand says she was married to a perfectionist for nine years. She says her ex-husband wanted things to be done his way and that nothing was ever good enough for him. They ended up getting a divorce.
Nick in Craighall says obsession with perfection could lead to self-destruction. He is recovering from drugs addiction because he wanted everything perfect and when things were not perfect he resorted to drugs.
Here are some of the tweets on perfectionism
@RediTlhabi I love to have a wife. I m not a perfectionist or picky. I m just lazy to take initiative. Thats y i always send my love 2 u red— liberty (@f_libertarian) April 21, 2015
@RediTlhabi I am not a perfectionist, but I do procrastinate and I don't like it.— nthipeleng rose (@nthipeleng) April 21, 2015
@RediTlhabi There is a thin line between being perfectionist and controlling.— Oska Matji (@Take2oska) April 21, 2015
Perfectionism test The goal of this perfectionism test is to determine whether you have perfectionistic tendencies, to what degree, and in which areas of your life.
This article first appeared on 702 : Obsession with perfectionism not good - Dr Schomer