Don't break-up with someone via text message - psychologist

According to newspaper reports, the family of murder accused Sandile Mantsoe sent a letter of apology to the family of Karabo Mokoena.

Mantsoe is accused of murdering Karabo Mokoena, whose body was found last week, burnt beyond recognition after having been reported missing several weeks ago.

The letter reads: "We want to believe that we did all we could to raise our children to be respectful and good citizens of our country. “We want to particularly let the family, South Africa, and especially women know that we don’t condone any form of violence.

"You and the country at large are hurting, you are angry and we acknowledge the anger. We do not have the answers to what happened but we do sympathise with your family for your loss.”

“We are deeply hurt and equally shocked by the sad news of Karabo’s passing. It is more painful to hear that her brutal death is attached to our son. As parents, we cannot even begin to understand the pain this has caused you, as Karabo’s family, and we wish to send our deepest condolences. Gender-based violence is a serious matter in this country, and until the news of Karabo’s death, we did not think it could be associated so close to home."

Talk Radio 702's Azania Mosaka asked listeners what an appropriate medium should be to communicate things such as an apology or even a breakup.

I really believe that already we are destroying communication and human connection from person to person by tweeting everything.

Cathy Angus, Clinical psychologist

You don't end a relationship with a text message or via social media.

Cathy Angus, Clinical psychologist

Angus adds that ending a relationship with someone by using a text degrades the person on the receiving end. She explains that social media has created a profound effect on people's ability to communicate.

There's never a right way of apologising for something as big as this. Kudos to the family for writing the letter for choosing to reach out.

Lelo, caller

I have a problem with the method they used. Their intentions were good but when you are dealing with death you don't send letters. It would have been better if they had sent a delegation.

Touch, caller

Take a listen here:


This article first appeared on 702 : Don't break-up with someone via text message - psychologist


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