Conflicts and disagreements may result in us becoming angry, and they may also arise because we have become angry about something else. At work, we might try to control our anger and avoid saying things we might regret. At home, unfortunately, we are much more likely to say hurtful things to others as a result.
Speaking to Phemelo on the Weekend Breakfast, clinical psychologist - Khosi Jiyane said we must start to worry when conflict becomes a divider and not a builder.
It is given in any relationships to have fights because there are two people with two opinions. Difference is normal and given, it when that difference becomes mutually exclusive when we are in opposing opinions. Which then raises the stakes in terms of what happens to the two individuals.— Khosi Jiyane - clinical psychologist
As human beings we are hard wired for survival, and the same part of the brain that reacts when we are threatened physically is the same part of the brain that reacts when we are threatened psychologically and emotionally. When we find ourselves in strong opposing opinions with each other, it then triggers the same reaction. So we will either go into fight or flight or freeze. So flight and freeze are the avoidance mechanisms.— Khosi Jiyane - clinical psychologist
Jiyane said: trouble and conflict are not a natural way of our being individually and also in relationships. As much as they are unavoidable, they are not a natural reason or intention for a relationship.
Click below to listen to the full interview:
This article first appeared on 702 : How to manage conflicts in a relationship