How to help kids navigate the relentless pressure to be perfect

Today's children face relentless pressure to be perfect - some of them from parents and schools and, in general, from social media.

Creative parenting expert Nikki Bush says perfectionism is probably one of the most destructive messages being passed on to kids at the moment.

As parents we post about our children's successes, we don't talk about failures on social media.

Nikki Bush, Creative parenting expert

You look at what they post about themselves - they won't post a picture if it's not a perfect-looking picture.

Nikki Bush, Creative parenting expert

There's a lot of fear and uncertainty that drives this need for perfectionism, on the part of schools, on the part of parents - that perfectionism is the only way to ensure success in the future.

Nikki Bush, Creative parenting expert

Bush says a healthier perspective is to look at building competence in a process towards doing better.

She believes competence is one of the most neglected contributors towards self-esteem.

There's a big difference between perfection - an expectation of perfection- and an expectation of competence.

Nikki Bush, Creative parenting expert

Competence is what our children need to survive life.

Nikki Bush, Creative parenting expert

She warns that an emphasis on perfection leads to a fear of rejection if a child does not meet expectations.

It's as far as not being loved in the family to not being loved by your community virtually, or in the real world.

Nikki Bush, Creative parenting expert

Bush says it's important to remember that childhood is a process of developing and to have these conversations with your child

For more advice on the worrying trend of perfectionism, listen below:


This article first appeared on 702 : How to help kids navigate the relentless pressure to be perfect


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