Streaming issues? Report here
Kieno Kammies 2019 1500 BW Kieno Kammies 2019 1500 BW
Today with Kieno Kammies
09:00 - 12:00
volume_up
volume_mute

Up Next: The Midday Report with Clement Manyathela
See full line-up
Today with Kieno Kammies
09:00 - 12:00

Home
arrow_forward
Local
fiber_manual_record
Lifestyle

'Meeting a child's basic needs drastically reduces the need to discipline'

21 September 2019 4:10 PM
Tags:
Corporal punishment
Nikki Bush
Corporal punishment at home
parenting tips
ConCourt ruling on corporal punishment
spanking your child is now illegal
Nikki Bush says the word 'punishment' needs to be replaced with the term 'management' and provides appropriate parenting tips.

Whether you agree or not, it is now illegal to spank your child.

On Wednesday, the Constitutional Court upheld a high court ruling that declares the common law defence of reasonable parental chastisement of children, unconstitutional.

RELATED: Here are proposed steps to be taken when parents reported for spanking

702's Refiloe Mpakanyane continues the national conversation sparked by the ruling, getting the input of Nikki Bush.

The parenting expert differentiates between a smack and a beating.

There's this big distinction between a short, sharp smack when your child is putting his finger in an electrical socket or running across a busy road and actually beating your child with a slipper or a belt.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

Be that as it may, Bush emphasizes the need to teach children about setting boundaries and controlling their emotions.

If parents always resort to corporal punishment to control their offspring, it leads to developing what she terms an external locus of control rather than the desired internal one.

The aim of parenting is to bring up self-disciplined children who know the difference between right and wrong and making good and bad decisions.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

This begins with a very positive parenting strategy around boundary setting rather than a reactive one.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

One trick parents should never forget is the power of distraction, for example if a child keeps going back to a plug point or engages in attention-seeking behaviour in a public place like a restaurant.

She says conscious parenting involves showing up and leading by example, even if you are tired.

We have to distract them sometimes from what we don't want them to get into.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

Children are actually quite basic and I think we tie ourselves up in knots around discipline.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

Children get tired, they get hungry, they get thirsty, they get bored and they're often in need of our attention, particularly because we all work and we're busy and we're spending far less time with our children.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

As a result, says Bush, parents sometimes discipline without context and without checking on these basic needs.

If you can tick those unmet basic need boxes, the need to discipline drops by 80-90%.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

Reading that need better, often means that children won't get to the point of throwing a tantrum, of being cheeky, of crying because they need your attention.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

Bush says the word "punishment" needs to be replaced with the term "management". This implies that both children and parents need to learn how to manage their feelings and behaviour, in other words - self-control and self-discipline.

Children need to learn about the consequences of their choices. This is about giving children a clear choice and helping them take responsibility for that choice, so pre-empting and being calm.

Nikki Bush, Parenting expert

For tips and examples of how to implement this parenting strategy, click on the link below:


This article first appeared on 702 : 'Meeting a child's basic needs drastically reduces the need to discipline'


21 September 2019 4:10 PM
Tags:
Corporal punishment
Nikki Bush
Corporal punishment at home
parenting tips
ConCourt ruling on corporal punishment
spanking your child is now illegal

Recommended

More from Local

rumours fact-checking fact checking fake africa check 123rf

No food parcels for white people – fact or fake? Africa Check has its hands full

29 May 2020 10:16 AM

Refilwe Moloto interviews Naledi Mashishi, a researcher at non-profit fact-checking organisation Africa Check.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

brunette-woman-getting-her-hair-cut-23-2148108792jpg

Blow to beauty industry as hairdressers' legal bid to reopen dismissed

28 May 2020 5:52 PM

Hairdressers in South Africa appealed to the High Court to be allowed to reopen under level 3 of the national lockdown.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

dudujpegjpg

Dudu Myeni banned from holding directorships

28 May 2020 5:40 PM

Former South African Airways (SAA) board chair Dudu Myeni was declared a delinquent director by the Pretoria High Court on Wednesday.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

EZGwtpzXQAEXFAp.jpg

Level 3 lockdown at a glance...and no, you still can't buy tobacco

28 May 2020 5:33 PM

As SA prepares to move to lockdown level 3 on 1 June we take a look at the restrictions that will remain and those being lifted.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

liquor-sales-alcohol-beer-booze-drinking-consumption-drinks-bottles-123rf

These are the new trading hours for liquor outlets under level 3

28 May 2020 3:01 PM

The National Command Council has revealed the detailed regulations governing the sale of alcohol under level 3 lockdown.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

ngobejpg

[LISTEN] Lab explains radio jock's false positive Covid-19 result

28 May 2020 2:28 PM

Award-winning presenter Tshatha Ngobe announced to Ukhozi FM listeners on Wednesday that he had tested positive for coronavirus.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

Lockdown levels South Africa Covid-19 coronavirus 123rf

[WATCH LIVE] National Command Council provides level 3 details

28 May 2020 2:05 PM

The NCC is set to brief the media regarding the details of alert level 3 that kicks in for the whole country on 1 June.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

velskoendraai-farmstall-save-your-favesjpg

Buy a Dineplan voucher to help Velskoendraai Farmstall and its local suppliers

28 May 2020 1:00 PM

The Velskoendraai Farmstall and Restaurant in Clanwilliam supports local producers from surrounding areas. They need your help to survive.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

20200405zccengenasramaphosajpg

South Africa’s largest church (ZCC) decides to remain closed

28 May 2020 12:45 PM

Bishop Lekganyane of the Zion Christian Church says it’s not safe to resume services and that all their churches will remain shut.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

160519CarnarvonPrimary03.jpg

Hunger and a lack of books - the reality facing millions of learners in SA

28 May 2020 12:07 PM

With schools set to reopen on Monday, Lester Kiewit asks if it's possible for all learners to go back learning equally...

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

More from Lifestyle

200514-elderly-old-agejpg

140 Covid-19 cases at 20 old age homes across WC, says Social Development boss

28 May 2020 4:51 PM

A number of old age homes in the Western Cape have had Covid-19 outbreaks, the Department of Social Development has confirmed.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

liquor-sales-alcohol-beer-booze-drinking-consumption-drinks-bottles-123rf

These are the new trading hours for liquor outlets under level 3

28 May 2020 3:01 PM

The National Command Council has revealed the detailed regulations governing the sale of alcohol under level 3 lockdown.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

Church worship prayer religion faith christianity

Churches easily become ‘super-spreader’ hotspots – why open them, not salons?

27 May 2020 2:54 PM

"Our restaurants are crippled! Please explain why gathering 50 people in a church is OK, but we can’t open," asks Wendy Alberts.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

churchgif

Pastors can rotate services to meet Level 3 limit of 50 - SA Council of Churches

27 May 2020 12:58 PM

The South African Council of Churches (SACC) advises that religious leaders with large congregations rotate their church services under level 3 lockdown.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

Airplane travel 123rfbusiness 123rflifestyle 123rf

Repatriation flights: Empty outbound leg hikes up the airline ticket cost

27 May 2020 12:43 PM

Pricing is pretty much up to demand and that is all pretty much governed by the airlines, says Travelstart's John Friel.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

Funny dog in snow cute knitted jersey 123rf 123rflifestyle

Snow falls on Western Cape mountains – expect a chilly winter (SnowReportSA)

27 May 2020 11:46 AM

"We’ve got ground-level snow in quite a few places," says Richard le Sueur of SnowReportSA. "We’re going to see a chilly winter."

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

140512generic.jpg

[OPINION] Come fly with me - but please keep your distance

27 May 2020 11:25 AM

CapeTalk producer Stephan Lombard once worked in aviation and has some insights into the future of air travel.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

Receipts expenses till slips tax 123rf 123rfbusiness 123rflifestyle

Pay less tax when working from home

27 May 2020 9:19 AM

Craig Rocher on the criteria you must meet to claim for “home offices expenses” and which expenses are deductible (NOT the phone).

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

man-woman-couple-sit-in-car-road trip-convertible-sunset-views-summer-123rf

CT organisers working on drive-in event experience for movies, music and comedy

26 May 2020 4:05 PM

Watch this space: The Mother City Drive-In will soon launch its offering of safe, social distance friendly entertainment in Cape Town.

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward

gatsby-cosy-cornerjpg

It’s clever how Cozy Corner in Wynberg is staying alive - and providing incomes

26 May 2020 1:26 PM

"You can't come inside to place and collect an order," says Yousri Hartley. "Your car, I cannot say that’s not your address!"

Share this:
Read More arrow_forward