Co-dependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.
But how do you know if you are in a co-dependent relationship? On the Redi Tlhabi Show, Dr Helgo Schomer looks at co-dependent relationships and work through different ways of dealing with the associated symptoms.
A person who cannot function from his/her innate self and instead organises thinking and behaviour around substance, process, or a person could be called co-dependent— Dr Helgo Schomer, resident psychologist
Co-dependent people have a mental state that says 'I am not good enough'— Dr Helgo Schomer, resident psychologist
Symptoms of Co-dependency
Unfortunately, denial is a major obstacle, because Co-dependency is difficult to see in yourself.
Feeling that you’re not good enough or comparing yourself to others are signs of low self-esteem.
Co-dependents usually don’t think they have a choice. Saying “No” causes them anxiety.
If someone else has a problem, you want to help them to the point that you give up yourself.
Co-dependents also need to control those close to them, because they need other people to behave in a certain way to feel okay.
- Problem with intimacy
This is not about Sex but about being open and close with someone in an intimate relationship.
How to conquer Co-dependency
- First recognise what co-dependence is and gather all information through reading
- Look at your history
- Start focusing on yourself and your needs
- Set limits and trust yourself
Listen to Dr Schomer discussing co-dependence with CapeTalk/702 listeners on The Redi Tlhabi Show:
This article first appeared on 702 : Dr Schomer: Overcoming co-dependency and focusing on yourself