Strained love relationships during Covid? Try to hang in there advises therapist

Relationship expert Paula Quinsee says do seek help but don't make rash decisions during these abnormally stressful times.

Relationship expert Paula Quinsee chats to John Maytham about love in the time of Covid.

Should couples hang in and see the difficult times of Covid and lockdowns pass before making big decisions on whether to end a relationship or not, asks John?

Statstitists show that many relationships and marriages have been taking strain through the difficult lockdown periods.

Can the relationship be rebuilt when society moves back to some level of 'normality'?

Quinsee agrees many couples are experiencing these difficulties.

I am seeing it in the work that I do, but to make decisions when you are in an emotional state we all know can often lead to regret.

Paula Quinsee, Relationship expert

I know people are tired of hearing this, but we are going through abnormal stress levels and it is impacting us at an individual level, at a couple/relationship level, and at a family level as well. So it is perfectly normal to be feeling those things and to be having this impact on your relationship.

Paula Quinsee, Relationship expert

She suggests people reach out and get professional help both as individuals and as couples.

What happens is, we act out emotions and what we are feeling if we don't know how to articulate what we are really going on inside of us.

Paula Quinsee, Relationship expert

When people feel stress and anxiety they can take it on loved ones, she adds.

So don't wait until Covid ends, because we don't know when it is going to end. Rather seek help now and see if you can process it and work through it and find a way of being there and supporting each other through it rather than throwing in the towel.

Paula Quinsee, Relationship expert

But she adds if there are extreme cases with symptoms of abuse then steps need to be taken to ensure personal wellbeing and safety.

What about couples who were already on shaky ground before Covid hit, asks John?

It is probably going to be very difficult to find a way to hold on and see Covid through, so we would find ways of conscious uncoupling and part on respectful terms especially if there are children involved.

What about the concept of apocalypse dating where younger people are taking a very superficial approach to dating and relationships?

I am definitely hearing it in terms of the younger generation - the mid to late 20s, early 30s - especially where our traditional dating activities have been taken away from us or limited due to curfews.

Paula Quinsee, Relationship expert

She says there is that feeling of 'life is passing me by' and 'I'm missing out on life' and important life stages and the idea that people don't want to be alone.

If you rush into a relationship for all the wrong reasons means the odds of it lasting for the longer term are questionable.

Paula Quinsee, Relationship expert

Listen to the interview below:

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